i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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