By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
