then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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