I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My bed smells like the plague
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