Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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