just tell him i said nine months
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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