I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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