Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize