I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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