Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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