I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You're like the curious george of whores
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
