Fuck appropriateness.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
