some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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