i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
