Duck Duck Cougar?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
