The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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