This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
