sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
