i think i have two assholes
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
