so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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