You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
