Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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