I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
