This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
