Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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