It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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