i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
