it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
