you win again, gameday.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
