My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
