and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
