i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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