I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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