HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
