the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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