I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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