4 words: hood of his car
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
