What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
