remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
