so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
