lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
