She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
