you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
