soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
