I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
