also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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