wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
