sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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