So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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