Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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