Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize