she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
