I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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