i would punch a child for taco bell
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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