Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
so much tequila, so little girl.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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