Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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